9 types of Girlfriend

  1. Ms. Nice Gal :-
    "Tickets to the boxing match? Oh Darling, you shouldn't have"
    Also known as: What a gal, precious, one of the boys, my main squeeze, doormat.
    Advantages: Cheerful, agreeable, kindly.
    Disadvantages: May wise up someday.

     
  2. Old Yeller :-
    "You goddamn spineless good-for-nothing drag-ass no-talent son of a bitch! Can't you see you're making me miserable?"
    Also known as: She-Devil, Sourpuss, the Nag, My Old Lady, Warthog from Hell.
    Advantages: Pays attention to you.
    Disadvantages: Screeches, throws frying pans.

     
  3. Sickly :-
     "Oh, my head. My head. My feet. My cramps. My cellulite"
    Also known as: Whiner, Mewler, Glumpy.
    Advantages: Predictable.
    Disadvantages: Contagious.

     
  4. The Bosser :-
    "Stand up straight. Put on a different tie. Get a haircut. Change your job. Make some money. Don't give me that look."
    Also known as: Whipcracker, The Sarge, Ms. Know-it-all, Ball and Chain, yes Mom.
    Advantages: Often right.
    Disadvantages: Often right, but so what?

     
  5. Ms. Vaguely Dissatisfied :-
    "I just can't decide. Should I switch my career, goals, home, and hair colour?"
    Also known as: The Fretter, Worrywart, Typical, Aw c'mon Honey.
    Advantages: Easily soothed.
    Disadvantages: Even more easily perturbed.

     
  6. Wild Woman out of Control :-
    "I've got an idea. Lez get drunk an' make love onna front lawn. I done it before. S'fun."
    Also known as: Fast girl, freewheeler, goodtime charleena, passed out.
    Advantages: More fun than a barrel of monkeys.
    Disadvantages: Unreliable; drives off cliffs.

     
  7. Huffy :-
    "I see nothing humorous in those silly cartoons you keep snickering at"
    Also known as: No fun, humorless prig, Cold fish, Chilly proposition, iceberg, Snarly.
    Advantages: Your friends will feel sorry for you.
    Disadvantages: You will have no friends.

     
  8. Woman from Mars :-
    "I believe this interpretive dance will explain how I feel about our relationship"
    Also known as: The Babbler, Spooky Girl, Screwball, Loony, Bad News, Artistic.
    Advantages: Entertaining, unfathomable.
    Disadvantages: Will read her poetry aloud.

     
  9. Ms. Dreamgirl :-
    "I am utterly content with you just the way you are, my handsome genius of a boyfriend. I think we must make love like crazed weasels now"
    Also known as: Ms. Right, Goddess, Knockout, Perfection, Gorgeous.
    Advantages: Funny, intelligent uninhibited.
    Disadvantages: Will have nothing to do with you.

     


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